Pop Quiz: What is the key to great sex? Is it mastering foreplay? Being well endowed? Knowing all the positions in Kamasutra?
I had girl talk on the phone with a close friend of mine earlier this week who revealed that she had the worst sex in her life. What she said next had me rolling on the floor. She said, “He had a big d**k so I thought he could do it well.”
Isn’t this the age-old myth? That a man with a big penis is better at having sex?
Great sex has nothing to do with how big your penis is, how small/tight your vagina is or how freaky you are. Whoever said this, clearly has been having terrible sex.
It’s about curiousity and open-mindedness. It’s about understanding pleasure, intimacy and satisfaction. It’s adapting and adjusting when things get weird.
And trust me, they do.
You’ll have more weird moments than you could ever imagine.
Here are some guidelines for having steamy, toe-curling sex.
1. Know what you want
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard persons giving vague descriptions as it relates to what they desire sexually. Knowing what turns you on, what you like or dislike is a major factor in having pleasurable sex. It helps your partner to know how to get you where you want to go.
If you don’t know, he won’t, and no one will be getting off.
2. Great sex is planned
Some persons believe that spontaneous sex is the only way to have sex, but that’s not true. Maybe in the initial stages of courtship but planned sex has just the same impact. For example, if you intend to have sex with your significant other on Saturday night, the week leading up to the day sets the stage for heavy foreplay. I call it “sexual anticipation”.
So a nude picture here, graphic description of the positions you want it in there, equals to the perfect recipe to create arousal as it cooks up all kind of fantasies of what could happen on the sex date.
3. Great sex = Communication
Communication is everything when it comes to intimacy. It isn’t about putting new moves on someone and hoping they reciprocate. It’s talking about and expressing what you need as well as what your partner wants and needs.
It’s about saying ‘ Yes right there’ or ‘I like when you do that’. It’s also saying when it hurts or when you don’t like it and when to stop. Don’t endure pain just because you don’t want to ruin the mood. Your partner will understand and if they don’t then you should not be having sex with them.
4. There is no pressure
You don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with. You shouldn’t feel pressured to do any act or be anyone you’re not. If your partner is pressuring you, then you should discuss it.
There are a lot of materials about sex but they are based on stereotypes and traditional gender roles. Write your rules and remember that the rest is still unwritten.
What are some of your rules/tips for great sex?