Everyone has one.

One terrible relationship (for me two) that lasted waaaaay too long and had you asking yourself at the end of it, “What the f**k was I thinking?”

Happens to the best of us….trust me.

I’ve had those moments where I reflect on how far I’ve come and I cringe at how oblivious I was to sh*t-storm that was heading my way. I guess it was a needed lesson for me to put away the rose coloured glasses and understand that there are a**holes in the world.

I was rather naive in my teenage years and I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t learn my lesson the first, second or third time around. It took me being dropped off at some corner like a prostitute by my ex, who was supposed to be my ride home, at 1 a.m. and at the mercy of some pretty shady characters, to finally get a grip on my reality.

Right after shedding a few tears.

Yeah, I cried. I was nineteen and he was that guy who turned heads by walking into a room, the one who made me mad and then have me smiling like an idiot. But he was also that guy who played mind games, who made me feel important for a minute and then the lowest life form in another, that guy who I clearly had nothing in common with but somehow convinced myself that I did. The one who constantly wanted to see me…..just to borrow money. 

Classic A-hole!

This blog post isn’t a rant about him being a bad person because I’ve gotten over it. He wasn’t the one for me and I was okay with that.

Lie!…I wasn’t all that okay with it then. I mean I showed up at his school to bash his face in with a board that had two iron nails sticking out of it. Come to think of it, I hammered those nails in earlier that day.

But I’m okay with it now. He was the obstacle on my journey to better person and judge of character. His placement in my life helped me to know my worth and to make better choices so I decided to take my experience as a blessing and move on because I refused to allow it to hinder my happiness.

On the other hand, If he wasn’t an A-hole, I wouldn’t have met the man who knew my worth.  Its no secret that my current relationship exceeds any expectations I could have possibly had. He healed me in ways I didn’t know I needed and his love helped me to overcome traits that held me back from discovering happiness.

Whether you’ve been through it or going through it now, look at your terrible experience and see the positives. You may be feeling like you are the problem or thinking what you could have done better but the problem isn’t you…it’s him. This is your transformative moment, where you realize that if you want that mind-blowing relationship, you have to figure out what your priorities are. 

Don’t dwell on what you couldn’t change, acknowledge that it happened but don’t let it define you. You have the opportunity to learn and grow from that relationship.

Who was your a**hole? What was your defining moment? Leave me your thoughts below.